The Wrath of Aphrodite
by SlightlyBlackSheep
Summary: When Aphrodite, goddess of love and beauty, decides to visit Camp Half-Blood, she decides to "spread the spirit". Her weapons will consist of love potion and makeovers. Watch out, campers.
1. Aphrodite Comes to Camp

Aphrodite's POV:

What a beautiful summer morning. It's the perfect day to go couple-watching! Of course, I can go anywhere to spy and collect potential gossip. But one of my favorite sites is Camp Half-Blood. So many young demigods! So many lovely pairs! I love it there. But I'm not going to go just for that. I need to spread the spirit. I need to make the girls pretty, sneak love potion into the drinks, turn Camp Half-Blood into a valley of love.

Of course, though, I can't go like this.

I get out of my bed and rush over to the mirror that takes up all of the wall. My hair is perfect, still in the beautiful bun I fixed last night. But that's boring. It's old already. Twelve hours of one hairdo? Unthinkable! I take out the bun and labor over perfecting my fishtail braid for a good thirty minutes. Finally, it's as good as it can possibly get. Of course it is. I made it!

Next, I inspect my lipstick. It's perfect, not smeared at all. But it's too dull a red. Obviously, that must change. I wipe it off, and apply a think layer of red _Brighty Aphrodite_. It's my brand. Mine! I made it up a century ago. it's my favorite. It's the best. Of course it is: I invented it! After another ten minutes, I'm sure my lips are as perfect as can be.

Oh, and my makeup! I sleep with it on, of course. I have to be beautiful in my dreams, don't I? But it's quite unflattering this morning. I forgot to reapply my eye shadow last night, so it's dull. I pull out my box of _Brighty Aphrodite_ eye shadow, and I spend the next twenty minutes putting it on. Soon, it's beautiful, so beautiful that I look like Aphrodite. Oh, wait, I _am_ Aphrodite. Like usual, the thought cheers me up.

Oh, no, my ball gown nighty! It isn't rumpled at all, of course - that would be a disaster. But it's not at all suitable for a couple-watching adventure at Camp Half-Blood. No, I must wear something else. I go to my huge closet and ruffle through my dresses. After half an hour or so, I choose a dress. It's bright red and strapless, and it goes to my thighs. On the tag on the back there is a pink heart, and the words _Brighty Aphrodite_ are written in it. I take off my ball gown nighty and put on the gorgeous red dress. It's beautiful!

I'm not done yet. I eat a muffin (daintily, of course) and go over to my shoe cabinet. It's huge - seven shelves, and ten feet across. I go through the cabinet, checking out each and every pair of shoes. What shall I wear? Hmm... It takes me quite a while, but I finally pick out a great glass pair, with seven-inch heels. Glass! I feel like Cinderella. (Except Cinderella wasn't as beautiful, of course. But somehow, she got all the princes. Still, I think she had the right idea.) I slip into the heels. I love them already.

I walk over to the mirror by the door. I stare in awe at the beauty who stands in front of me. She has _Brighty Aphrodite_ makeup, a _Brighty Aphrodite_ dress, and _Brighty Aphrodite_ shoes. And her hairstyle is one of the hairstyles recommended by the _Brighty Aphrodite_ magazine. She's, like, a walking advertisement for my favorite company. Oh, how I admire this woman in the mirror...mirror! She's me! Oh, wow, I'm _so_ beautiful. Even I'm astounded. Well, of course I am. I have good taste.

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall," I say dreamily, "who is the beautifullest of them all?"

There is a beeping noise, and a tinny voice responds, "Error. Error. Error with the word 'beautifullest'."

I groan. "Mirror, did Hephaestus meddle with you? Did he come by recently?"

The mirror responds, "Yes. Hephaestus came at 3:09 PM on July 28th."

"Yeah, and did he _do_ anything?"

"Yes."

"_What_?" I ask in annoyance. This mirror needs direct questions.

"Would you like to see the security video?"

"There's a _security_ video?" I ask in surprise. "Well, then yes! I would very much like to see it."

The mirror blacks out, and a different scene shows up: The room is plain and empty. I'm out, probably. Then, the door opens. I gasp. It's a man with singed black hair and dark skin. Hephaestus. Quickly, he scans the room. Realizing I'm not there, he turns toward the camera. His hand reaches up, and... The screen blots out.

The mirror beeps again. "Error. Error. Camera disabled. Certain portions blocked."

What did he _do_? Well, besides mess with the spelling recognizing feature thing? And he disabled the camera, so now I can't even see what he was doing. Seriously, Hephaestus? You just _had_ to make life hard. You do know I prefer Ares, right?

I toss my hair, and - oh, wait! My hair's still black! It's been black for almost twenty-four hours! Oh, no. A complete day of one hair color! No way that can stay. So, I use my awesome magical hair color changing powers to shift the color to a whitish blond. No, no. Not that. It doesn't go well with my red dress at all. So I change it again, this time into a fiery red. Oh, yes. This one's good. It matches my dress!

Finally, nearly two hours after waking up, I'm ready to go couple-watching. I transport myself down to Camp Half-Blood - I'm enveloped by a cloak of darkness. When it recedes, I find myself in a strawberry field. Cabins and Greek buildings are scattered throughout the valley. There's a large, modern-looking four-story house across the field.

The Big House. The camp headquarters, sort of.

I walk through the rows of strawberry plants. I pick one, and bite into it. A sharp, bitter taste fills my mouth. Ugh. Bad strawberries. Hmm. When's strawberry season? No idea. Oh, well. It cheers me up to notice that the plants are leaning toward me. They love me, I see. Look, even strawberry plants are romantic!

So _this_ is Camp Half-Blood. I'd forgotten. This is my first time visiting since...the last time I came was...I think it was about a century ago. No, wait. A decade? Uh...less than a decade? Sometime in the last millennia? Probably. I don't remember. Why keep track of the years when you're me? When you're beautiful? When you're the goddess of love?

Exactly. There's no reason.

I reach the porch of the Big House. Among several satyrs, two people sit there: a centaur and a man in a purple shirt. The centaur must be Dionysus, and the man is... Oh, I think I mixed that up. The _man_ is Dionysus, banished god of wine. More commonly known as the Wine Dude (don't tell him I said that). And the centaur is...

When I step onto the porch, the centaur stands up hurriedly, and then kneels. I stand there, basking in the glory of it all, but then Dionysus says, "Oh, get up. It's not like it's such a _marvelous_ event to have a goddess here."

The centaur stands up, and addresses me. "Lady Aphrodite," he says. "Welcome to Camp Half-Blood. Um, what brings you here?"

I stare at him. "Charon?"

The centaur Charon's tail flicks. "Actually, it's Chiron."

I frown. "Then who's Charon?"

Chiron grimaces. "Charon is the man who boats the dead to the underworld. He's currently in California, if you're looking for him. Los Angeles, more specifically, I believe."

"Oh, him," I say. "No, I'm not looking for this Underworld ferry guy. I'm not _dead_. Do I look like it? And so why exactly would I be looking for him? So I can watch the lines of dead mortals?"

"Probably not," Chiron admits. "But you _did_ ask if I was Charon. I just had to make sure you hadn't come here by mistake. And so, Lady Aphrodite, what brings you to Camp Half-Blood?"

"What brings me here?" I muse. "Why did I come to camp?"

Because the campers deserve my attention? Because I think they're too ugly? Because there isn't enough romance? Because I want to fix those, and bring love and beauty to my children's home? By using love potion and makeovers?

Because I just want to cause mischief?

"Well, Chiron," I finally say, "you'll just have to wait and see."

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**A/N: Dun dun dun...**

**This is my second story. Aphrodite's going to be causing some mayhem. I'm going to be writing a few more chapters, but I'm going to camp on Monday for three or so weeks, so I can't update until then.**

**So, please drop a review, tell me what you think, and stay awesome!**


	2. The First Plan

**A/N: Sorry for the wait. As I said before, I was at camp, and then school started up right when I got back.**

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Aphrodite's POV:

After leaving the Big House, my next stop is my children's cabin. I stand out among the campers, what with my actual _beauty_ and aura. They all stop and stare. I'm dashing, aren't I? I smile at them, each and ever one of them.

"It's Lady Aphrodite!" one of them gasps. It's a little boy, about ten years old. He's so _cute_! I hope I can involve him in my plan.

I go over to him. "Yes, it's me! Lady Aphrodite!" I say. "And who would _you_ be?"

He gives me an awed look. "Simon."

I clap my hands in delight. What a lovely little boy to fit my lovely little plan! "Wonderful!" I exclaim, and skip off down the road toward the cabins. There's dead silence behind me, and I know that I've left them _all_ awestruck, not just Simon boy. Great work, as usual.

I see my cabin immediately. It's pink, and smells _lovely_. The outsides are covered in amazing designs and hearts. It looks like something pulled straight from the _Brighty Aphrodite _magazine, and that's the highest compliment I could ever give.

I enter the cabin, and am amazed by its beauty. Everything's pink and yellow and colorful, and posters of the hottest movie stars _ever_ are taped on the walls. There's a curtain hanging in the middle, separating the girls and the boys. There's a boy going through the trunk at the foot of his bed. (Did I mention that all of the trunks are neatly placed at the food of their owner's bed?) I look inside, and see that _everything_ is placed by color, in the colors of the rainbow. I squeal in delight, and the campers turn and see me.

"Mother!" a girl gasps.

"Piper dear!" I swirl forward and embrace her. Then I pull back and inspect her. "Oh, no, Piper! Your clothes! They're so..._dirty_! And your hair! A simple braid? Oh, no, no! Haven't you a dress to wear?"

"No." She looks away. "Look, I can wear what I want to, Mom. More importantly, why are you here? You've never come to camp, or at least not as long as I've been here."

"You don't have a _dress_!" I'm devastated. "That has to change! Does anyone here have a dress you could lend Piper?"

"No," Piper says quickly. "Really, I don't want to. Come on, just tell us why you came here. Surely you have a reason that's more important that what I'm wearing."

"_Nothing_ is more important than what one wears," I insist. "Piper, just - "

"I have to go," she mutters. She pushes her way out of the cabin, and walks away.

"Fine," I say. "Well, I guess she's gone. And maybe that's a good thing. We can change her opinions about what's beautiful and what's _totally_ not omething a child of mine should wear."

"Come on, tell us why you came," someone says.

"Fine." I lean in. "I have a grand plan. I'm going to call it...the _Bright Aphrodite_ Scheme. BAS for short. I'll tell you what it is, but only if you swear to not tell _anyone_ about it. Not Chiron, not any of the other campers. Not even Piper. Don't even clue them in." They nod, and murmur promises. "Okay. So, here's my plan. I'm going to spread love and beauty to this camp, and I need your help. I'll drop in periodically, and tell you what to do, okay? Today is Operation A. It involves _these_."

I bring out a box of OlympusPharmacy sleeping powder, and a full _Brighty Aphrodite_ makeover kit.

"This - " I hold up the box of powder " - is sleeping powder. Sprinkle it into your victim's drink at lunch or breakfast. In half an hour, they'll fall asleep. If they drink it at the beginning of the meal, they should fall asleep right after everyone is dismissed for the afternoon. You pick them up, and drag them to the makeover bunker."

I press a button on the back wall of the cabin, and the stairway to the much prized secret makeover bunker appears. All the campers know about it, and spend every morning down there. Well, most of them.

"Piper never goes down there, I hear," I say. "Take your sleeping experiments down there, and put on as much makeup as you can, without making them look _awful_. You'll have one hour before they wake up again. The makeup is permanent, without the right removal, which only you will have. Don't give it to them until I say to. Does everyone understand?"

"Yes," they chorus, and smirks are exchanged. I can tell they're all up to the job, and quite happy to do it for me.

"One more thing," I say. "Does anyone here know a boy named Simon? Small, dark hair, ten years old or so?"

"Yeah," Lacy says. "He's undetermined. He just came in yesterday. And isn't he cute?"

"Oh, he's lovely," I agree dreamily. "Yes, Simon. Make sure...make sure he's beautified. Got it?"

"Yes."

"Good." I give them my most dazzling smile, and continue, "I'm going to return to Olympus now, but I'll be watching. I can't wait!" I twirl, and teleport back to Olympus.

Give them a day or two, and they'll have Camp Half-Blood transformed into a place of beauty, love, and wonder.

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**A/N: I hope you liked this chapter. Please review and tell me what you think. Thanks!**


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